


Just Keep Swimming

by darkin520



Category: seaQuest
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 11:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkin520/pseuds/darkin520
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots involving our favorite characters with a sprinkling of Disney inspiration. Because when life gets the seaQuest crew down, they just have to keep swimming.  Starts early first season and will continue throughout.  Updates will be slow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Won't Say I'm In Love

Doctor Kristin Westphalen awoke to find someone slipping a white envelope under her door. With her curiosity piqued, she immediately pushed herself out of bed and opened it to find an invitation inside:

_It's an icebreaker party on Bridger Island! All senior staff must attend this weekend. Food and drink will be plentiful! Details will be discussed at the morning staff meeting. Please, don't be late._

Her brow furrowed in question. _An icebreaker party?_ Well, it wasn't a horrible idea exactly. They'd only been on tour for a little over a month, and while she found that the military personnel weren't the heathens she initially pegged them to be, she didn't spend a great deal of time with them outside of work situations.

Then again, however, she supposed that was the point. There was still a bit of tension among the senior staff, and the captain wanted to alleviate that. What better way than this? She had to hand it to him that it certainly was creative, but it was also something she doubted other military-types would do. Then again, Nathan wasn't like the other military-types she'd encountered before.

She wondered how the rest of the staff might react to this mandatory weekend for a few moments and then decided she ought to hurry and get ready for the meeting in case Nathan needed a hand in calming the potentially unruly group.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

When she entered the ward room, however, she found the others to be just as curious as she. Seeing that Nathan wasn't there yet, she took her usual seat and glanced towards the others, who were already discussing the party.

Katie glanced in her direction. "You don't know anything about it either, do you?"

She shook her head. "I got the same invitation the rest of you did. That's all I know. How do you all feel about this?"

"It might not be so bad," Ben said with a shrug.

"I think it's be fun," Lucas added. "Don't you?"

She shifted nervously as all eyes looked to her. "Of course. I just didn't expect all of you to be on board with it is all, especially _you_ , Commander," she said to Jonathan. "I definitely thought you might protest about being forced to spend the weekend with any of the science personnel."

"And that is exactly the attitude I'm trying curb," she heard Nathan's voice say from behind her. "That's the point of this weekend's get-together."

Everyone spun around to look at him.

"I am sorry for singling you out, Doctor," he said, moving to stand in the front of the room, "but while I know we've managed to get through missions by working together, it's apparent that there isn't much unity among us outside of work."

Kristin felt a rush of heat to her cheeks, knowing she must be as red as a beet, and she lowered her gaze to the floor, hoping no one noticed her obvious embarrassment. She jumped slightly when she felt Nathan's hand on her shoulder.

"I've asked myself time and time again what happens with us outside of work?" he asked.

Kristin's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I understand."

"When you're _off_ -duty?" Nathan offered.

"I think he means who we hang out with," Lucas said.

Nathan snapped his fingers. "Bingo!" He motioned towards Kristin and Lucas. "Because outside of missions and staff meetings, how much time do you really spend with the doctor? Or with Lucas? Or with any member of the science team, for that matter?"

The others shrugged quietly.

"In other words, military staff don't spend time with the science personnel outside of work and vice versa. And there's even division among those groups as well. None of you spend much time with the junior staff." He sighed. "I wish I could have the entire crew participate, but I can't exactly accommodate more than two hundred people on my island. However, the senior staff is expected to set an example for the rest of the crew, and the brass wants the junior staff to become more familiarized with the bridge duties in the event that all of us would be away on a mission. So I saw this as our golden opportunity, so to speak. And while I know I said it's mandatory, I hope you're all on board."

Lucas sat up straight in his chair. "I think it sounds like a blast."

The others nodded in agreement to which Nathan gave a smile.

"Wonderful. Are there any questions?"

Katie raised her hand. "What time will we leave?"

"I was just getting to that, unless anyone else has a question?"

No one else uttered a word.

"I figured we'll leave tomorrow at 1700 hours. Pack for a casual weekend, and have a good day, people."

As everyone began to file out of the room, Kristin lagged behind, meaning to apologize about her earlier assumption about the commander when Nathan approached her first.

"I hope you're not upset with me. I just happened to walk in the room at that moment, and it fit in with my plan."

She shook her head. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. You're absolutely right; every member of the senior staff should be setting an example, and I wasn't doing a very good job of that."

A brow rose. "You're much too hard on yourself, Doctor. Perhaps I failed to mention it, but you have been doing a fabulous job. I also don't expect perfection. You're allowed to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. Besides, after this weekend, I'm hoping everyone will have a better understanding of one another."

"Indeed," she replied, casting a glance at the clock. "I'm sorry, but I really should be heading to the lab."

"Of course; I'm sure I'll see you later."

"Later," she called as she bolted through the door.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

By the end of the day, Kristin had managed to regain her composure, mainly because of the fact she'd made a point to avoid the captain. The very truth of the matter was that Captain Bridger was very different from any other military person she'd met before, and she was beginning to grow very fond of him...so much so that when she'd made that comment to the commander, she'd felt as though she'd disappointed him.

Why did it matter to her now, though? She'd never been so worried about how anyone viewed her before. She was tough as nails...or at least that's how everyone viewed her, and she couldn't say she didn't like that reputation. She'd heard the rumors; most were a compliment. Some weren't, but that came with the territory, and she'd never went to any lengths to try to make sure others knew the truth.

She grabbed a sandwich for dinner in the galley before retreating to her quarters for the evening. After eating, she found herself heaving a sigh as she began packing for the weekend. Was anyone else as nervous as she was? she wondered. While she agreed this weekend would help the senior staff gain and understanding of one another, she couldn't help but feel uneasy about it, though she couldn't tell why. Was she really worried about revealing her true self to the others, revealing her true self to the captain? Was she really so-

A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts, and she moved to open it. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was the captain.

"Hello," he said. "I was just coming to see if you were all right."

Her voice caught slightly in her throat. "All...all right?"

"It's just I haven't seen you since this morning, and when I didn't see you at dinner, I... Is it all right if I come in?"

She blushed slightly before stepping aside so he could pass. "Of course. I am sorry." She motioned towards the open bag on her bunk. "I decided to eat in my room so I could pack is all. I didn't mean to worry you."

He gave her a soft smile. "You didn't worry me exactly. I was just...being considerate."

She nodded quietly. "I do appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Really."

"I'm glad to hear it."

An awkward moment of quiet fell around them, and neither seemed to know what to say next. Kristin finally lowered her gaze to the floor. "Um, perhaps..."

"You are okay with this get-together, aren't you?" he finally asked.

Her mouth fell open slightly. "Of...of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem a bit different since you heard about it," he pointed out. "I'm sure you and the commander will come to an understanding, if that's what you're worried about. I know you two aren't exactly the best of friends yet, but you'll get there."

She shook her head. "That isn't..." She then thought better of it, not feeling ready to tell him she didn't really know the real reason she was apprehensive. After a pause, she gave a nod. "You're right. I am a bit nervous about it. It's just spending the entire weekend with the rest of you lot." She held up a hand. "And please, don't think I mean anything bad about that, but I am in the minority, seeing as Lucas and I are the only science personnel who'll be there. It's a little overwhelming is all."

He put an arm around her shoulders. "I can't say I don't understand your concerns, but I promise nothing bad will happen. This is meant to be a positive experience, not a painful one. I hope that reassures you."

A small smile tugged at her lips. Even if nether of them knew the real reason she was worried, his sincere words did help her feel better. "It does, thank you."

"I'm glad. Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I didn't feel right going to bed without knowing for sure."

"It's perfectly all right. It was sweet of you to stop by. Goodnight, Captain."

"Sleep well, Doctor, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," she said as he left the room. Letting out another sigh, she muttered, "Definitely different. Why is that such a bad thing, I wonder?" She really couldn't give herself an answer, so she resorted to finishing her packing and then going to sleep.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

The next day seemed to fly by, and before she knew it, Kristin found herself in launch bay with the rest of the senior staff, ready for their fun-filled, icebreaker weekend. As they boarded the launch, Kristin couldn't help but notice that the general attitude among the group seemed jovial. Not an unkind word was uttered, and Commander Ford even helped her with her bag. Perhaps she'd been wrong to even think this could go any way but well after all.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

Though she wasn't sure what she was expecting, the island wasn't as she had imagined. It was better, actually. Oh, the island itself was like any others she'd seen with a sandy beach, trees, and rocks. It was the typical island landscape, but the house was much larger than she'd guessed. To her surprise, however, it had four upstairs bedrooms, seemingly for guests, and had been kept up fairly well.

After Nathan gave everyone a quick tour of the house, he said, "Since our ladies are in the minority, you two will have the first bedroom on the right at the top of the stairs. My room is right across the hall if you need anything."

As Kristin and Katie went upstairs to put their bags away and freshen up, Nathan turned to the men. "There are two other bedrooms upstairs, and then there's a pullout couch in the living room. I hope there's no fighting, but you're going to have to decide who sleeps where."

The men quickly decided, and then everyone convened in the living room once again.

"Since it's rather late, I wasn't planning on anything too exerting," Nathan said. He nodded towards Ben. "Would you mind helping me, Mr. Krieg?"

Ben obediently stood, and the two left the room. Kristin watched in curiosity as they finally returned with a box of cards and chips and a poker table top.

"We're going to play poker?" Lucas said.

"Yes, but there will be a twist."

Nathan and Ben brought out enough chairs for everyone and set them around the table. Nathan then motioned for everyone to have a seat. "I know we all know how to play, but we won't be playing for money. You'll be playing for information."

"Information?" Kristin echoed.

Nathan nodded. "Instead of starting with a thousand dollars worth of chips, everyone will get five hundred. But the kicker is that you'll want to bid wisely because the stakes are high. Once your chips are gone, you'll have to bid with information. When you've found you can't match a player's bid because you're out of chips, that player, in turn, can ask you anything, and you'll have to answer as truthfully and honestly as you can. It's a way for us to get to know one another better. Of course, some things are off-limits, and I don't think I'll need to explain what that is, do I?" He eyed Ben specifically.

Ben held up his hands innocently. "I didn't say anything, did I?" He shrugged. "I'll be good, I promise."

"Good. And there are plenty of soft drinks in the fridge and plenty of snacks in the pantry. Don't be shy. Help yourselves if you'd like."

A few took him up on that and made their way to the kitchen to get some refreshments as Nathan dealt the cards and the game quickly got under way.

Kristin hadn't been playing poker all that long; since the incident with Rubin Zellar, Nathan had given her a few lessons in the game, but she wouldn't say she was a pro just yet. Therefore, she was very careful in her bidding. The others, she noticed, weren't as careful, and she couldn't help but smile when she noticed that Ben couldn't match her bid because he was out of chips. "Oh, dear," she muttered in amusement. "Whatever will you do?"

"I've a feeling this won't be very painless," he replied.

"Oh, come now, Mr. Krieg; I'm not going to be that evil."

He sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," she said, glancing towards Nathan. "Are we allowed to collaborate with the other players before deciding what to ask? It's just that I'm sure Katie could give me some wonderful ideas."

Nathan laughed softly. "While I'd love to tell you yes, I think the question needs to come from you. Don't worry if you have more than one. Just save that for next time."

She nodded and thought a bit longer. "Okay, I'm ready," she finally said. "What is the most honest thing you've ever done?"

"Honest? Doc, I think you've got the wrong guy," Katie muttered.

"That's exactly why I asked him," she explained. She looked at Ben expectantly. "Surely, you don't think about scamming people all the time."

"Of course not," he said. "And I suppose the most honest thing I've done... Well, that was marrying Katie; she kept me honest enough while we were together."

Katie nodded. "That's very true. It's just too bad it didn't last."

He held up his left hand. "Hey, no ring on this finger anymore, baby. I can be a little bad if I want to now."

"Just don't forget you still need to answer to me," Nathan reminded him with a laugh. He turned to Kristin. "Do you accept that bit of information?"

She nodded. "I suppose so. It was impressive enough."

Ben flashed her a grin. "You just wait until it's _your_ turn."

She motioned to the stack of chips in front of her and stuck out her tongue. "I don't think I have anything to worry about."

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

Unfortunately, though, Kristin learned she might have spoken too soon. She'd been having so much fun placing bets just to be able to put the others in the hot seat that she'd forgot to pay attention to her dwindling chips, especially since she had yet to win a hand. She couldn't help but feel a slight shiver of worry come to her when Ben eyed her carefully. "I see the captain's six, and I'll raise him six more. Oh, gee, Doc; you only have four chips left. What does that mean?" He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Yes, yes, I know what it means," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a look. "Do your worst. I can take it."

"My worst, huh?" Ben grinned as he thought. "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know about you."

"Yes?"

He glanced around at the others. "And I know I'm not the only one. There've been an awful lot of rumors flying around the boat about you."

Her heart sank slightly, her intuition telling her she knew exactly what he was about to ask. She did her best not to let it show, however. Instead she turned to Nathan. "If I'm going to be sharing intimate details about my life, I might need something a bit stronger than this." She motioned to the can of cola in front of her.

He smiled. "I suppose since we're off-duty, that wouldn't be a horrible idea." He walked to the kitchen and brought out a bottle of rum and some shot glasses. "Some bottled courage, so to speak." He glanced to Lucas. "And since it's a special occasion, you can have one too if you'd like."

"Really?" he squeaked out. "What exactly does rum taste like?"

"It's not really about the taste," he told him, passing the glasses around and pouring an equal amount in each one. "It's more about taking the edge off."

After everyone had a drink, Nathan raised his glass up and invited the others to do the same. "To friends," he said.

"To friends," everyone echoed before indulging in their drink.

Lucas, however, coughed and nearly spit it out across the room. "Ugh, this stuff is horrible! Why do people like to drink it?"

Everyone laughed as Nathan patted him on the shoulder. "It's probably more of an acquired taste, kiddo. Guess I don't have to worry about you doing any underage drinking then."

He shook his head. "I don't even know if I'll want to touch when I'm of age," he muttered, making a bee-line for the fridge and downing a soda to get the taste out of his mouth.

After everyone had finished their shots, Ben looked at the doctor. "Are you ready yet?"

She nodded. "Get on with it, Ben."

"Just how many times _have_ you been married?" he asked. "I'm sure you've heard some people say at least five."

"Is it up to that many now? My reputation is expanding," she replied with a soft smile, a bit more relaxed now. "I think you'll all be surprised to know I've only been married once."

"Once?" Ben repeated. "But you've heard the rumors yourself, haven't you? You never said anything to contradict it."

"Yes, I've heard them, and you're right. I really don't know how the rumors started, but when people started to say I ate men for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I just..." She shrugged. "Well, that's about the time the tour started, and with the tension Commander Ford and I had at first, I guess I thought it might help so I wouldn't be bullied."

"And you never married again?" Lucas asked quietly.

She shook her head. "What's the adage? Married once and cured forever? Well, that's me." She looked across the table. "That should satisfy your bid, yes?"

Ben, however, shook his head. "Cured forever, you say? I think I speak for the rest of us when I say spill it."

Kristin's brow furrowed in question as she glanced toward Nathan.

"I'm afraid the bid holder makes the rules, but you can certainly fold if you feel it's too personal."

She thought for a brief moment, and while she considered sitting out the rest of the game, she knew full well that everyone was on the edge of their seats. Not only that, she guessed it was inevitable that they'd badger her for more in the near future. She took a deep breath. "Very well, I suppose this is the point of no return. You want to know everything? Fine. I was married to one man for fifteen years. We had one daughter, whom we both love dearly. Unfortunately, my daughter's father didn't love _me_ enough to stay faithful. Apparently, the affairs started years before I found out, but I was too blind to see it."

"Affairs?" Jonathan said. "He did it more than once?"

Kristin nodded quietly.

Katie placed a hand on her shoulder. "I...I am so sorry."

Kristin gave a nod and suddenly felt tears creep up, but she did her best to swallow them back. "I was the last to know. When our friends suddenly stopped speaking to me, I'd thought it was something I'd done. I didn't know the reason they couldn't talk to me was because they didn't know how to break it to me. I suppose you can understand why it's difficult for me to trust people; I'm always worried they have a hidden agenda." She shrugged. "I'd spent years trying to shed the victim persona so when the rumors started, I suppose that's why I never said anything. I rather _liked_ the idea of people being intimidated around me. I didn't have to worry about anyone wanting to get too close to me, and I didn't want to risk being taken advantage of again."

"Who was he?"

Nathan's soft voice cut through the quiet, surprising her. She turned to look at him with a raised brow. "Senator Charles Nelson."

Everyone gasped, knowing the name.

"You were married to the senator of Hawaii?" Lucas said in shock. "The one who ran in the last presidential election? My father voted for him."

"Yes, well, he's a very good politician, just not a very good husband," she replied. "When we began divorce proceedings, the tabloids had a field day, dragging my name through the mud. They'd made up some lies, saying it was all my fault...and I never asked for a retraction. I didn't really see the point." She felt the tears creep up again and though she tried to swallow them back, it was useless. "So when everyone here thought I was something I wasn't... I guess it was somewhat...nice having a different reputation." With tears threatening to stream down her cheeks, she glanced towards Ben. "I...I do hope that's enough for you now because I...I need some air. Excuse me."

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

She half-expected someone to follow her and drag her back inside, but they had the courtesy to give her her space. She made her way down to the beach and sat down on the still-warm sand, sobbing quietly. The amount of emotions that coursed through her body surprised her. She hadn't been upset over her divorce in years, and she was no longer in love with her ex-husband, so where was all this coming from?

A tiny voice from inside her heart then reminded her how long she'd been stuck in survive mode, and everything was finally coming to a head. That was understandable. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd really been open and honest with people. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been honest with herself. She hadn't a reason to...until now.

 _And there's that other thing,_ the tiny voice insisted.

Her breath caught in her throat as she realized what it had meant. Since her divorce, she'd had relationships. She was human, of course, and no one wanted to be alone, including her. But the relationships never lasted; they were never true love. She hadn't dated anyone in a while; the thought never even crossed her mind. She'd nearly sworn off the possibility of finding anyone...until she'd met the captain.

She shook her head. "I can't," she said through her tears. "I can't have feelings for anyone, especially him."

 _Why not?_ that voice asked. _You said it yourself earlier: you've grown very fond of him._

"Fondness isn't love," she muttered. That was true, wasn't it? Love? She wasn't sure if she even remembered what it was like. She thought for a moment. She supposed it was having someone worry about her well-being, wanting to be sure she was all right when even the tiniest upset occurred. It would have to be someone who she had a bond with, someone who she could share anything with, someone who'd be committed to her and her alone.

 _Isn't that Nathan?_   the voice asked after a moment.

"No, of course not!" She couldn't be in love with him, could she? He was still in mourning over his wife for goodness sake! How could she possibly think of him in any way but a friend? "I can't confuse kindness with love."

After several quiet moments, the voice said, _Very well. Whatever you say. I'll leave you be._

Thank goodness! At least the tears had subsided now, but she was still too humiliated to step foot back inside. Hopefully, they'd be going to bed soon. Then she could slip back inside and go to sleep...and just try to forget about everything.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she knew it was later. The night sky had changed to an even darker shade of blue, so she decided to turn around and see if the lights in the house were off yet.

As she stood, however, she heard the unmistakable noise of the door shutting. She stopped short, closing her eyes tightly. Whoever it was must have decided she was out there too long and was going to try to convince her to come back inside. And really, she couldn't blame him or her. She was going to have to face the music sooner or later.

She waited patiently for a few minutes, but when she didn't hear anything more, she finally opened her eyes and turned around to see no one there. Her brow furrowed. Maybe she'd just imagined it. She then noticed the living room light was now off. The only light that was still on was that of the kitchen. They must have left it on for her, she decided.

At least she could go inside now and go to bed. As she approached the back door, however, she noticed a coffee mug sitting on the back porch table. Her eyebrows knitted together. Had that been there before? She'd been too upset to notice, but she couldn't help but peek inside to find it only had a small bit of liquid left in it. She felt the sides of the cup; it was still warm. She then surmised someone had been keeping watch on her.

Who knows for how long, but she had a sinking suspicion who it was. She took a deep breath and quietly opened the door. Upon reentering the kitchen, she found Nathan putting a teapot on the stove.

He smiled softly when he saw her in the doorway. "Glad to see you decided to come back inside."

She took a few cautious steps toward him. "How long were you out there?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really keep track. We didn't play the game much longer after you left. We sat around talking for a little while and then everyone decided to go to bed. We knew you needed your space and wanted to respect that. But I didn't feel right going to sleep knowing you were still outside. I wanted to make sure you were all right." He motioned to the teapot. "I thought I'd make you a cup of tea. As soon as I'm finished, I'll leave you be," he promised.

"That's very kind of you," she said. "But you really don't..." She took a shaky breath. "You didn't need to do that. After I ruined everything, you don't need to force yourself to be so kind to me."

A brow rose. "Is that what you think? That I'm forcing myself?"

"Isn't it true, though?" She moved to sit at the table. "The rules of the game were to share or fold. I said I could take it...and the truth was, I couldn't. This was supposed to fun, and I ruined everyone's good time. I wouldn't suppose any of you are too happy with me right now."

As the teapot whistled, Nathan didn't offer an immediate reply. Instead she heard the sounds of him getting the tea ready. "You're highly mistaken," was all he said as he set a cup in front of her. "Milk, honey, and a dash of cinnamon, just how you like it."

She couldn't help but smile at him. "How did you know how I like my tea? I never told anyone."

"No, but I paid attention. I pay attention to a lot of things, you know." He paused for a moment, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "And I know you wanted to be alone, but if you need to talk, I'm here for that too."

She shook her head. "I'm not sure I can just yet."

"I understand," he replied, inching towards the doorway leading upstairs. "Goodnight then."

As she watched him start to leave, that tiny voice screamed in her head, _What are you doing? Don't let him go!_

"Wait a minute!" The forcefulness in her voice caught her and Nathan both off guard as he turned back to her. "Sorry," she said, lowering her voice back to a normal tone. "I mean, would you mind staying? Please?"

He smiled at her. "I wouldn't mind at all." He crossed back to the stove and poured himself a cup of tea as well. "Why don't we go somewhere a bit more private, though? That way, we won't disturb the others," he explained, nodding his head towards the living room.

She nodded and he led her to the hallway on the other side of the living room. "The den is a bit cozier anyway," he explained, opening the door and allowing her to go in before him.

Inside the den was a comfortable-looking overstuffed brown leather chair and matching sofa with a fireplace in the corner. The walls were graced with a nautical theme, and it brought a smile to her face when she noticed a large photo of Darwin hung above the mantle.

"You like that, do you?" Nathan asked, closing the door behind him. "That was taken the day we found him."

"We?" she asked.

"Carol and I," he explained. He then motioned to the sofa. "You can have a seat, you know."

She nodded and obliged as he sat next to her.

"Now why is it you think everyone is upset with you?" he asked.

"As I said, I ruined everything. Now I'm sure the rest of the weekend will be awkward as hell. If you think it would be best, I'll gladly go back to _seaQuest_ so the rest of you can have a good time without me."

"Damn it, Kristin!"

She jumped slightly at his outburst.

"I'm sorry for yelling, but would you listen to yourself? No one is angry with you at all, so get that idea out of your head, okay? You have nothing to be ashamed of. With this weekend, yes, I wanted all of us to get to know one another, but didn't you think I also knew we'd learn about ourselves as well? Maybe it came in a way you weren't expecting, but I think what happened was a good thing...don't you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe..." She sighed. "I'd spent so long trying to make sure I didn't get hurt that I lost myself in the process. It finally caught up with me."

He nodded. "But at least now you know you don't need to be on the defensive all the time...at least not with us. Even Commander Ford was worried about you. We care about you, Kristin. We've all been brought together for this project, and now we have to work together. In order to do that, we need to care for one another, no matter if we're military or civilian. There are no sides. We all have the same goal."

"I'm only sorry I didn't come inside when everyone was still awake. I think I owe them all an apology...and not because I think they're angry, but because I judged them all too soon...even you."

He waved a hand. "I think everyone understands why you did what you did, but now that you know you don't have to, I hope you drop that ice-queen persona. You weren't very good at it anyway."

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You might have fooled some of the crew, but although I'd heard the rumors myself and even seen you in action...like when you were busy giving Commander Ford a piece of your mind... Well, I quickly learned that isn't you. You're much too caring, both as a doctor and as a person, to have such a reputation. An ice-queen, you're not."

Tears sprung to her eyes once again, and she quickly wiped them away. "I'm not used to a man being so considerate of me and my feelings."

"Well, maybe it's about time you do," he replied. "You certainly deserve it."

She blushed. "I've never met anyone quite like you, Nathan Bridger."

"And is that a good thing?"

"The jury's still deliberating," she said with a smile, "but I think so."

"Good. And maybe by the end of the tour, the jury will finally come to a decision."

"Oh, I don't think it will take quite that long," she assured him. "The jury just likes to be...cautious."

"As it should be, Doctor; as it should be," he replied before taking another sip of his tea.

__-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_ _

After they'd finished their tea, Kristin stifled a yawn. "Excuse me," she muttered sheepishly.

"It is getting late," he pointed out. "Perhaps we should get some sleep...unless you'd still like to talk?"

She shook her head. "You've helped tremendously, though. I really don't know how to thank you."

"Just be yourself; that's thanks enough."

They brought their dishes to the kitchen and then ascended the stairs, making a point to be quiet so as not to disturb the others. They stopped in front of the door leading to the room where Kristin was staying.

"I do hope you sleep well," he told her. "And if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm right across the hall."

"Thank you; I promise I will."

He placed a chaste kiss to her forehead. "And someday, I do hope you find that you'll be able to love again because you deserve to be happy. Goodnight, Kristin."

"Goodnight," she replied, turning to go into her room. After closing the door behind her, she let out a sigh. _At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love._


	2. Go The Distance

Darwin sighed as Lucas held up a card with a picture of a dolphin on it. Of course, Lucas wanted him to say, "Dolphin," but Darwin wasn't going to comply so easily. It wasn't that he wanted to purposely be disobedient; he loved the young man. But he felt frustrated... In fact, he had been feeling that way for quite sometime now, only he wasn't sure how to express his feelings.

"Come on, Darwin. We need to reestablish the language base; the vocoder caught some kind of virus. It's not your fault, but you know this. Just say the word; it should be a piece of cake." He laughed softly. "Or in your case, mackerel."

But Darwin just wasn't in the mood at all. This was much bigger than some silly pictures on cards. This was his _intelligence_ , for flounder's sake. Didn't anyone understand that?

Doctor Kristin came to stand alongside Lucas. "Maybe he needs a break?" she suggested softly. "You've been at it for hours, and no offense, but I've heard more lecturing than progress." She gently took the yellow box out of Lucas' hand and turned it off. She then rubbed Darwin's head softly. "You've done very well for today. Go, have fun now." She hit a button to open the outside hatch.

Darwin closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. Well, maybe _she_ understood a little bit, though she didn't know the reason why he needed to get away. Still, he nosed her hand to show his appreciation before turning to swim out of the moon pool and into the ocean through the hatch she'd opened.

At least he could be free to think. Oh, how he loved his freedom. Even since Bridger and Bridger lady found him trapped in the fisherman's net, they'd always allowed him his freedom. That freedom was the only way he could convince his dolphin companions that he was _not_ a pet. Pets aren't free to come and go as they please. Sure, there were times Darwin spent more time with the humans than with dolphins, but that was when they needed him more...like after Bridger lady had gone to the big sky place. Darwin had known Bridger needed his companionship more, so he'd stayed.

But this...this was different now. Oh, he still loved Bridger; he always would. But this wasn't about Bridger. He and Bridger never had a communication problem. Bridger had never insulted his intelligence.

But that silly little yellow box _did_. All. The Time. Darwin hated that little yellow box with a passion. Yes, Lucas made it, and yes, he was proud of it. _A great scientific advancement,_ the young man had called it. For humans, perhaps, but certainly not for dolphins.

Darwin flipped his tail in anger. Dolphin language was far more advanced than humans understood. Sure, they heard whistles, clicks, and squeaks when he spoke. But it was the tone of it, the way it resonated through the sinuses... One single whistle could tell an entire story composed of thousands of words...words that had the same ornate lyrical eloquence of the Shakespearean sonnets Bridger lady had used to talk about.

But dolphin language had poetry and beauty as well. He remembered the way his mother would sooth him with her gentle whistles when he was a calf, the beauty of her song still filling his senses even now. There was no way he would ever explain that to that yellow box, though. He couldn't put into words for the humans how wonderful it was when a new calf was born and how the elders of the pod would explain to the young one the meaning of life, their dolphin philosophy. That yellow box was just too primitive to be able to show the humans how advanced his language was.

Dolphin language had been perfected long before humans ever even graced the planet, but that blasted yellow box translated his squeaks, clicks, and whistles into single words. Obviously, it was so the humans could understand him, but half the time, it missed things. Not only that, he couldn't even tell the humans this because stupid yellow box would put his feelings into something that would sound like, "Darwin no like words from yellow box. No sound like pictures in head."

How in the world would that prove he was far move intelligent than that confounded box made it seem? The whole thing just made him sad and angry. And, no, it wasn't Lucas' fault exactly, but he wished the humans could see deeper than what was on the surface. And that was why he was upset: because sometimes he felt like no one understood him. Sometimes, he felt trapped and held back back that little yellow idiot box.

He shook his head, trying to forget about the humans for the time being. He swam for a while, noticing things he hadn't before, like the way the coral seemed an even brighter pink than normal...or how pretty the jellyfish looked as they swam above him. There was beauty all around him, and he felt at peace. And there was absolutely no danger of...

" _Clickwhistlesqueak_!"

Darwin turned his head in the direction of the familiar voice as a familiar dolphin swam towards him, almost forgetting his dolphin name; it had been quite a while since he'd conversed with another dolphin.

"Clickwhistlesqueak, where've you been lately? I feel like it's been months."

The other dolphin in question was his older brother, _Clicksqueakclick_. "I know," Darwin replied with a nod. "I've missed you, though."

"Same here," his brother said. "Are you going to stay for a while?"

"I'm going to see where the current takes me."

Clicksqueakclick raised a fin. "In other words, you're going to come back to the pod for a few days and then go back with your human friends." His brother shook his head. "Sometimes, I don't know what you see in them. Is it for free fish or what?"

"I come out here to hunt, fish for brains," Darwin teased before becoming serious. "Bridger...he needs me."

"Ah, but the question is: do _you_ need _him_?" His brother nosed him playfully before turning to swim away. "The rest of the pod is on the other side of the reef. I'm playing scout, just to make sure there's no danger. Wait until I tell them who I found." He paused. "There's talk of a large school of tuna headed our way. Should be good eating, and e could definitely use another hunter. You'll be there, won't you?"

Darwin hesitated for a brief second, but he nodded, since he had to eat. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be there."

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Since being with Bridger, Darwin had become used to being a solitary hunter. Only occasionally did he get the chance to hunt with other dolphins, especially the ones from his own pod. After he and his pod-mates had a bellies full of tuna, he laughed in delight, remembering how good it felt to hunt as a group.

"See what you've been missing," Clicksqueakclick commented. "You're acting like calf again."

Darwin nosed his brother in the side. "What? A dolphin can't have a little fun once in a while? Besides, I'm not _that_ old. Neither are you, for that matter."

"No, but you've been with the humans for a long time...several spawning seasons, if I recall. When are you going to wake up? You're a dolphin, not a human. You belong _here_."

It certainly was ironic that Clicksqueakclick bring all this up now, especially when Darwin was feeling the way he was. Maybe he was right. Maybe he had been with humans too long. One thing for sure was that there was no language barrier with the dolphins. Still Darwin felt he needed advice, not from his brother but from another member of the pod. He hadn't gotten a chance to properly greet her yet, and she'd been staring in his direction. He told Clicksqueakclick he'd see him later and swam over to her.

"Clickwhistlesqueak!" she cried.

Darwin nuzzled up to her. "Mother! I've missed you."

"And I, you. It's been a while. How are things?"

"They're...fine," he said with a nod of his head.

She patted his side with a fin. "You don't sound convincing. You're not feeling homesick again, are you? There's plenty more seaweed, if you need it."

"No, nothing like that. I feel physically fine. Everything's just perfect. I just came out to feed and noticed where I was, so I thought..."

"Clickwhistlesqueak, I can tell something's bothering you." She looked to the other dolphins nearby. "Are you afraid someone else will hear?"

Darwin hung his head. "Maybe."

"Follow me," she told him, leading him to a vacant area of the reef. "Now, what is bothering my little calf?"

"I'm not a calf, Mom."

"You'll always be _my_ calf, no matter how old you are. All my calves are. Now, what is the matter?"

Darwin sighed. "It's the humans."

She swished her tail angrily. "Did they hurt you? No on hurts my son! I swear I'll-"

The younger dolphin slapped his tail and shook his head. "No, Mom, nothing like that."

"Oh," she said with a laugh, "good. Then what is it?"

"I just feel so... I feel like... I'm not sure I fit in with them anymore."

A fin rose in surprise. "And why in the world would you think that?"

"It's that yellow talking box I've told you about. It's just so...so frustrating that it doesn't say exactly what I'm saying. I feel like I'm just so misunderstood."

There was a long pause before his mother spoke once again. "And what makes you say that? Did the humans ever give you any indication that you are any less important to them?"

"Well, no..."

"Any less valued?"

"No."

"Then what made you feel this way?" she pressed.

"Lucas said the box had a virus and needs to be reprogrammed." He paused, trying to think of a way to explain this to his mother. "It's like it had a fluke, but he got it out."

She nodded. "I see. So why did that make you upset?"

"It wasn't that. It's just that box...it makes me said the humans will never know the beauty of our language or how intelligent I really am."

"Did they ever say they thought you weren't intelligent?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, no, not really."

"Did they start treating you differently to make you think you were?"

"No... But Clicksqueakclick says that I shouldn't be off with them. I should be here, where you need me, appreciate me."

"Clicksqueakclick doesn't know what he's talking about," she muttered.

"You mean you _don't_ need me?" he asked sadly.

"No...that is _not_ what I meant," she replied, giving him a reassuring nuzzle. "As I said, I will always love you, and you can always come home. This is your pod, your family, your friends. Of course, we miss you when you're away, but we also know you're happy where you are. You are happy with them, aren't you?"

"Usually, yes," he replied. "I've only recently become upset about that yellow box."

"Maybe you should tell them how you feel?"

He shook his head. "The box won't make me sound intelligent. It'll make me sound...well, not so intelligent."

"Think of what it's like when we encounter a whale pod. Things are lost a bit in translation, since they don't communicate quit the same way we do. But we get the basic concept. I think it's the same thing with you and the humans, isn't it?"

"I...I guess it is," he replied thoughtfully.

"The point is that you are very, very important to them. I saw that when I met Bridger and the rest of your friends. It helped me to know that you were being well taken care of. And it also assured me you were happy." She paused for a moment. "I'm going to assume your friends may have noticed your sudden mood change?"

"Well, I haven't been very cooperative with that stupid box."

She sighed. "The only one showing them that you're not as intelligent as you seem is you."

"But-"

"They already know how intelligent you are. I promise you, they know. They value you just as they value one another. You need to go back and talk to them about this."

"You...you want me to leave?"

She laughed softly. "This was only a visit and you know it. Besides, you know what will happen if you don't go back soon."

"Lucas does get worried if I'm not back within a few hours," he noted. He moved to nuzzle his mother. "I love you."

"I love you too, my little one."

"I'll come visit soon," he told her.

"Even if you don't, I know you're safe where you are. I'll tell the others you said goodbye."

He nodded, giving his mother one last nuzzle before turning to swim away.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

It was late by the time Darwin got back to the boat. He was somewhat disappointed that the corridors seemed empty as he made his way through the aqua tubes on his way to the moon pool. As he peered over the side of the pool, however, he noticed the lights to the lab were on. He peered over the side of the pool to see what was going on.

"Darwin still hasn't come back," Lucas said worriedly. "Can we go look for him?"

"Lucas, this isn't the first time he's been away for several hours. He's probably having fun with his friends," Bridger said with a laugh. "It's late. Why don't you go on to bed? The doctor and I still have some work to finish up here, but I promise, if he comes back, I'll let you know."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon," Kristin added. "There's nothing to worry about; you'll see."

"But I...I was so mean to him."

"Oh, is that what this is about?" Kristin sighed, putting an arm around his shoulders. "I'm sure you're far more upset than Darwin is."

"How can you be so sure?"

Darwin decided it was time to make his presence known. He let out a few cries, knowing they'd all approach the pool.

"Darwin!" Lucas cried, a huge grin on his face. "I'm sorry about before." He turned the vocoder on. "While you were away, I messed with it a bit, and it's not quite as touchy, though you will still need to help me reprogram some words into it."

"Darwin fine with that. Lucas no sorry. Darwin sorry."

The three of them exchanged glances. "Why are _you_ sorry?" Bridger asked him.

"Yellow box make Darwin angry. Darwin talk to pod. Darwin know it not Lucas' fault. Darwin happy here. Darwin home."

"You were angry at the vocoder?" Lucas repeated. "Why?"

"Make Darwin sound stupid."

"Oh, so you thought we thought you weren't smart?" Lucas said with a nod.

The dolphin nodded his head.

"Well, that's simply not true," Kristin told him.

"That's right," Nathan chimed in. "We could never think that."

Lucas picked up the vocoder. "This thing...this yellow box...well, it's a computer, Dar. It's just a tool so we can understand each other. I know it's not perfect, but-"

"It okay, Lucas. Darwin understand."

The three of them smiled and pet him gently.

"I'm glad to hear it," Kristin told him. "And I'm glad you're home, but we have work to do. I'll see you in the morning, though. Goodnight, Darwin."

"Goodnight," the dolphin called as she and Bridger departed.

"Next time I'm pushing you too hard, you need to tell me, okay?" Lucas said once he and Darwin were alone.

"Okay," Darwin said. And he meant it, because he knew the humans truly appreciated him...and he knew he was right where he belonged.


End file.
